The * Is Close

The pit in my stomach continues to linger as Big Head (or * as I also like to call him)continues his illegitimate run at Hank Aaron's 755 home runs. He is now only 2 away, and it surely seems inevitable that he will break this record, and soon. What are the only things that can stop him? Well, at this point, only three things:
- an injury, which is always a possibility given his age and crappy knees;
- a federal jury indictment for perjury, which is also still possible but unlikely to happen in time;
- or the baseball gods finally right this wrong and send Big Head up in a puff of smoke (or a UFO), not to be seen again until his autograph table OUTSIDE of Cooperstown is set up 5 or 6 years from now, right next to Sammy "No Habla Englais" Sosa and Rafael "Finger-Waggin'" Palmiero.

None of these seem likely to happen in time to stop 756* to sail into the stands. As an amateur baseball historian, it makes me cringe to even think of it. I have heard others say in recent weeks that they will watch to see history, even though they believe strongly that Big Head cheated. I cannot and will not EVER watch that highlight or listen to the unfortunate announcer's call of it. It's not a real number, folks! I have also heard people say that "well, gee, he still would have 600 or more home runs if he didn't take steroids, so he's still great and I will watch it." 600 is not the same as 756! It is inarguably the most-recognized record in sports. I will not support a fake record, and I will not be remiss to have seen the highlight. I will watch, however, when Alex Rodriguez or Albert Pujols breaks Big Head's sham record in 2011 or 2012. Then the baseball world will be right again. Until then, remember Hank Aaron and his 755 steroid-free and hard-earned home runs.

Let's Jump In The Way-Back Machine..

Please excuse me while I wallow in a moment of self-pity...

The day was July 20, 1993. SWV had the number-one song in the country with "Weak." A mediocre Dodgers team lost to the Phillies, 8-2, but had an emerging superstar named Mike Piazza went 1-for-4 on his way to one of the best rookie campaigns in MLB history.






And I was working on my 20th birthday at the Dunmore Pizza Hut. It was miserable, and I swore I would never work on my birthday again.

I've stayed true to my promise for 14 years, until now. I have no choice but to work, as the P-Nats start a homestand tonight and I have to be here. But at least I get to be at a ballpark, right? That's what I had convinced myself of until the very first thing we did this morning was..that's right, pulled the tarp. Here's an example of what that is like:



Oh, well, no worries. Tonight will still be fun, and maybe next year there won't be a home game, and I can be drunk by noon on the beach like I normally am.

Dodgers Sweep Big Head & the Jints

What a nice early birthday present- my Dodgers went out and not only swept the much-hated Giants to take a 1 game lead in the NL West Division, but almost more importantly, we made a fool out of Mr. Big Head himself, Barr-oid Bonds. The * went 0 for 12 in the 3 game series, which kept him 4 home runs shy of the sham record he is about to create. I am saving my major rant about the * till a later date, but for 3 days at least, he was made to look like the complete jackass that everyone knows that he is.

For Your Viewing Enjoyment...

First, a funny 5 second clip known as "Dramatic Chipmunk," found on YouTube:


Next up, the dramatic sequel to Will Ferrell's gut-busting "The Landlord," entitled "Good Cop, Baby Cop." Not quite as good as "Landlord," but hilarious just the same:



Enjoy, and happy Friday!

The Stars Are Out in LA!

I meant to post this on Monday, but things have been crazy 'round here...

I'm very excited by the fact that I will have 3 Dodgers to root for in next week's All Star Game. That hasn't happened since 2002, when Eric Gagne(miss ya), Shawn Green(coo-coo-ka-choo), and Odalis Perez(yikes!) were the representatives. This year we will have Brad Penny, arguably the best pitcher in the NL this year; Takashi Saito, the closer who's made most(but not me) forget about Gagne; and Russell Martin, who has continued the 25-year trend of amazing catchers in Dodger Blue(Scioscia, Piazza and LoDuca).

But what am I most excited about? The fact that I don't have games next week, so I get to watch and enjoy all the festivities. Fan-tatsic!

Happy Birthday USA/ Happy Anniversary US(Staci & I)!

While most people are enjoying the day off today, watching hot dog eating contests and fireworks, I am working yet another 15 hour day. At least it's at the ballpark. And Staci & Sharon will be here later to enjoy the game, so I've got that going for me.



In other 4th news, today is a year since Staci & I got engaged at RFK Stadium. Hard to believe it's been that long, even harder to believe that the big day is less than 2 months away. It's been a good year, baby, which only promises to get better!