American League Central Preview

This is a really tough division to handicap, as there are so many overriding factors in health and "sophomore slumps" on various teams. This is my disclaimer for when I revisit this in October. :)

1. Cleveland Indians- How can you not like their pitching depth? A solid 7 starters, including CC Sabathia (above) and Fausto Carmona? A young and healthy lineup as well, led by Grady Sizemore. A force to be reckoned with.

2. Detroit Tigers- The best collection of hitters in baseball. But what did the '01 Mariners, '04-07 Yankees, and so many more teach us? 1000 runs does not make your crappy pitchers any better. Justin Verlander and pray for rain. They will most likely still make the playoffs as a wild card, but it will be a quick exit for the Motown Bombers.

3. KC Royals- If Alex Gordon and Billy Butler continue to hit, and Gi Meche earns his $11 mill a year, the Royals will have their second winning season in 16 years.

4. Minnesota Twins- Letting Johan Santan go may pay off in the long run (2011 anyone?), but banking all of your hopes on Francisco Liriano's injury-prone body may be too much. Livan Hernandez will help, but not enough.

5. Chicago White Sox- Is this really the team that won the Series 2+ years ago? Not really. Their pitching stinks. Their hitters stink. They actually got worse over the winter, not an easy accomplishment. Ozzie will be out by July 4th.

American League East Preview

It's hard to believe that the start of the regular season is only 12 days away (Boston and Oakland have 2 games in Japan Mar. 25-26; first game on American soil is Nats' Home Opener on March 30th). I will be filling this blog with my predictions over the next couple of weeks and I begin with the American League East.

1. Boston Red Sox- The reigning World Series Champs will miss Curt Schilling, but will offset that with recovered Bartolo Colon. They are as deep a team as any in baseball, with the all-important solid bullpen and rotation. Not a weak link in the batting lineup either, with the possible exception of JD Drew. Center fielder Jacoby Ellsbury(former Blue Rock pictured above) will be a shoo-in for Rookie of the Year.

2. Toronto Blue Jays- When you finally have a healthy rotation, and you add 2 proven winners and leaders in David Eckstein and Scott Rolen, you may finally break through the Red Sox-Yankees stranglehold on the East. Too bad it's the same year that the wild-card will come out of the Central.

3. NY Yankees- Something the many Yankee-haters across the country have waited for since 1994- no Yankees in the playoffs. Their starting nine is still filled with All-Stars, but the pitching rotation is more suspect than it's been since the days of Ed Whitson. And one of these years All-World closer Mariano Rivera HAS to get old- doesn't he? Joba Chamberlain will be the only ray of light, but at least they have the closing the Stadium to celebrate all year.

4. Tampa Bay Rays- Stunning array of young talent not enough when you play the top 3 teams in this division a total of 57 times. They will still have the best team in their history (not saying much). If they sign Big Head Bonds, move them to fifth place.

5. Baltimore Orioles- Such a sad state for a former proud franchise. Owner Angelos has signed every poster boy for steroids at one point of another, and now that he's finally rid of those idiots, he trades away his best pitcher (Eric Bedard). This may be the worst team in the majors.

Up next: the AL Central..

Best Commercials Ever

You Tube has quickly become a haven for a nostalgic fool like myself to find clips from old shows, commercials, and the like. I had my biggest find yesterday, when I stumbled across the funniest commercials ever made. It was a series that Holiday Inn put out about 8 years ago, "What do you think this is, a Holiday Inn?" I decided to post a couple to boost a dreary hump-day. Enjoy:

Bronx Zoo 2.0

I have always been a believer that very few managers have an effect on wins and losses for their team, but certain guys just fit a team better than others. With that in mind, will any team miss a manager more than the Yankees will miss Joe Torre? Evidence already that it could be a long hot summer without his steady hand:

- "New" owner Hank Steinbrenner, who is already giving Daniel Snyder a run for the money as the goofiest bastard to ever run a sports franchise, says how much he despises Alex Rodriguez, then re-signs him for a record amount. Also claims, "Red Sox Nation? What a bunch of [expletive] that is. That was a creation of the Red Sox and ESPN, which is filled with Red Sox fans." Also throws Torre under the bus after he decided to dump Torre during the off-season. It reminds me of Sonny taking over for Vito in "The Godfather"- been waiting his whole life to take over for daddy, but continues to make people miss the Big Guy.

- New manager Joe Girardi slams a Tampa Bay Rays player for playing hard in a spring training game and breaking a Yanks' catcher's wrist in a collision at home. "I want you to play hard. I want you to hustle, but to me it's not the time to do it," Girardi said. Really Joe? When is the time for a rookie trying to make a team supposed to show hustle? After he's been sent back to the minors? A little thing that turned into a big thing- something Torre was able to control over 12 years.

Joe Torre was a miserable failure before his glory years in New York, and he may not accomplish anything in LA. But the one thing you could always give him was that he knew how to handle the media, players, and owner in a town where almost everyone has failed in the last 30 years. And there's already signs that this may be a powder keg waiting to explode in the Bronx that would make Billy Martin smile.

Bush Endorses McCain

Got me to thinking- what other headlines would sound as odd or out-of-place with reality?

OJ Obsolves Real Killers

Chevy Chase Annoints Conan as Late Night King

Clemens Chastises Bonds for HGH Use

Adam Sandler Thinks Will Ferrell Should Choose More Serious Roles

Warren Buffett Floats Bill Gates a Loan

Hank Steinbrenner Says There Is No Red Sox Nation (Sorry, that one is real)

Rafael Palmiero, Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire to Appear on FOX's "Moment of Truth"

Wrigley Field To Sell Naming Rights (Sorry, true again)

Primaries Get Exciting Again!

My girl Hillary looks alot better than she did 24 hours ago, winning 3 out of 4 primaries last night that she definitely needed to stay in this race. Pundits, the majority of whom clearly can't stand her (SNL skit aside), should take lessons from...Simon Cowell? Yes, Simon has learned that the more he shows his hatred for someone, the more people vote for that singer on American Idol. Same goes for Mrs. Clinton- the more she gets killed on every show that has clearly bandwagoned with the hot-as-the-sun Obama, the more comebacks she makes.

As for me, I'm happy for Hillary, though I hope that this gets decided sooner rather than later. The thing I am truly happiest about is that my vote will count on April 22nd, as Pennsylvania has a say in a nominee for the first time since 1976.

Brett Fav-ra

Good luck and thanks for the memories. Of all the football highlights that you made in 17 years, here's my favorite highlight of your career:

Baseball Boogie!

Discovered this on YouTube. This is the 1986 Dodgers doin the Baseball Boogie. Don't remember this, but it's always possible I just blocked it out. No wonder we only won 73 games that year:

Shawn Green Calls It A Career

Former Dodgers rightfielder Shawn Green called it a career today after 15 seasons, 5 with the Dodgers(2000-04). During his time with LA, he broke the all-time Dodgers record with 49 home runs in a season, and is probably best known for his record-tying 4 homers in one game back in 2002. While he was never my favorite player, he stood out as a class act on a team full of crybabies(Gary Sheffield, Kevin Brown) and HGH-ers(Paul LoDuca, Eric Gagne), and is arguably the best Dodger of this decade. Green is involved in many charities and stood up for his religious beliefs by sitting out Yom Kippur during a crucial pennant race with the Dodgers. It was the only game he missed all year.

Shawn, hope to see you suiting up as a coach in the not-so-distant future.

Best Uses of the Word "Bro"...

3. "Don't taze me bro."-U. of Florida student
2. "That's my chopper you just thrashed Broseph."- Jack Black in "Anchorman"
1. "C'mon bro. Next question."- Washington Nationals catcher Paul LoDuca, when asked what he was specifically apologizing for after admitting to "mistakes in judgment" regarding his Mitchell Report-alleged use of performance-enhancing drugs.

*Sigh* It justs gets sadder- one of my former favorite players just acting like a tool.